I don't think I could have sex with someone on the first date. Unless I go home with them and they run nixos or BSD or something

@schratze operating system fuckability tier list

If they run Arch with KDE, I would pin them against the wall instantly

@schratze windows 10?

@cybersqyd "We need to make Linux cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't run Linux, don't fuck them." John Waters

@mynameistillian schratze-shaped hole in the door

@schratze I run arch with kde

@bean

@schratze Endeavour with Gnome also worthy?

@delafin I'd be down

@cybersqyd @schratze present-day macOS immediate F tier. they don’t call it liquid ass for nothing

@ericjames @cybersqyd hey at least I know I'm gonna have a good time with a Mac user because they're all incredibly submissive

@schratze best I can do is whatever linus is on the reMarkable tablet

@owl don't you use alpine or something

@schratze this post is the closest thing to a dating profile I have and it does state that I use arch. Should I also mention KDE Plasma?

@bean imo yes it makes you super fuckable

@schratze if they run chimera with kde would you pin them down against the wall instantly too?

@echedellelr that's fairly obscure and nerdy so yeah

@anarceus hot

@schratze so that means that if my wife and you were on a date, you would prolly pin her down to the wall?

@echedellelr only if she consented and only if that's fine for you :)

@schratze you say that, but then I also made my own pasta yesterday

@bean damn

@schratze
what about debian with MATE? 🥺

@ArtistSynth pretty hot tbh

@schratze @mynameistillian i just saw this post without any context and just wanted to say this is one of the CWs ever

@mynameistillian @schratze I'd rather a windows 8.0 user than a linux weirdo

@cadadr @mynameistillian Windows 8 has to be the most unerotic operating system in existence

@cadadr @mynameistillian if you run windows 8 then your bobs, vagene, knob and bollocks are all perfectly square-shaped

@schratze my genitalia what about gentoo

@schratze @mynameistillian you bodyshaming fuck! choke on my minecraft balls (notionally, beware the corners)

@cadadr @schratze @mynameistillian sponge bobs, square balls

@schratze me not deleting the entire draft before responding

@charlotte @schratze that's what they said

@thygrrr @schratze the original draft was “my genitalia are recompiling”

@charlotte @schratze funny, that's what they said, too

@schratze While my tower PC has Fedora with KDE, my Steam Deck has SteamOS which is a variant of Arch, with KDE. Am I pinned?

@maxthefox yes owo

@schratze @ericjames @cybersqyd The degree to which Mac restricts its users' ability to do things with the devices they own probably qualifies as some type of bondage...

@maxthefox @schratze @cybersqyd see, my dad has employed techniques on our older ipads, mostly with an app called imazing, that basically opens iOS up a bit. without even jailbreaking too! #NotSponsored

as for macOS, idk if most folks know they can do this, but back when i had 256GB macbooks, i used to go into ~/Library/Application Support via the “go to folder” feature in finder and delete files for apps that i hadn’t used in years. i did this whenever i needed to make space, which was pretty often cuz i had a lot of shit in my downloads folder (still do, but now i have 4x more room to store it). gigabytes saved just like that

of course that doesn’t absolve apple of everything it’s done to lock down the systems in both hardware and software by any means. my biggest gripe in the past few years is that they’ve made macOS look and feel more like iOS, i guess to appeal to the new user who already has an iphone? they could totally be doing the opposite rn but i guess doing it this way makes them more money (what a concept, the trillion-dollar corpo somehow needing to fish more from their customers)

i’ve taken this as a sign that they’re starting to not give a shit about the powerusers that made them the titan they are. it has made the experience worse, and so that’s why i’m leaving when i feel i have the best opportunity to: when this computer, which is still running macOS 26 because macOS 27 forces apple “intelligence” onto you, is on its last legs. final fucking straw. nearly 20 years with apple (blame my dad) but i’m not afraid to end it anymore

…kind of a hard left turn from the sex jokes lmao. you get the point though

@ericjames If you want help setting up a Linux distro of choice I'd be happy to help. No pressure tho.

@schratze if you go home with a NixOS user they might have to nixos-rebuild their bed

@schratze @owl I use Alpine (the NetBSD of Linuces) btw. With river.

Not looking for a date though.

@IngaLovinde @schratze they should make a SEX/Linux so when you see the sticker on someone's laptop you just show them yours

@owl @IngaLovinde @schratze A/S/L (Ass? Sex (yes or no)? Linux?)

@schratze

@ArtistSynth @schratze Does Linux Mint give you fresh breath? 🤔

@gunchleoc @ArtistSynth only if you put it in your mouth

@schratze OK, but let’s say, for the sake of the argument, they run Debian with KDE. Would they get anything?
Purely hypothetical question.

@Sylvhem that thinkpad would look great on my bedroom floor

@schratze 😳

@Sylvhem it is a thinkpad, right?

@schratze Ha, ha, no. It’s actually a custom build desktop.

@Sylvhem *frantically fans air at self*