schratze
schratze@todon.nl
I really messed up when I chose an occupation that nobody ever has any sexual fantasies about (tech writer)
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schratze
schratze@todon.nlDoctors, librarians, psychologists, plumbers, farm workers — people have sexual fantasies about all of those occupations. But the humble tech writer never gets anything. It's honestly unfair
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schratze
schratze@todon.nlI didn't do a whole lot better on my extremely unerotic hobbies (playing bass, birdwatching)
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@follpvosten there's the whole thing about programming socks and cargo mommy and so on. Tech writers get nothing
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@schratze slap me with that service manual~~
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@follpvosten there are also fantasies out there about the guy who comes to fix your computer
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Eivind (like the Terrible) ✨
eivind@fribygda.no@schratze In my country, they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of such sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as the "Tech Writer." </Seinfeld in Oslo>
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@schratze just put “tech writer fanfic” into your search engine
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@daswarkeinhuhn okay there is surprisingly not nothing on AO3, but the occupation is only ever a sidenote and not an attractive feature of the character
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Tóth Gábor Baltazár
tthbaltazar@chaos.social@schratze
how hard is it to become a tech writer?
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@tthbaltazar from what starting point? If you are good at writing and understand the technical stuff you're writing about, then it's not hard
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駄女神シルヴィー 🌒🌕🌘 (They/She)
follpvosten@karp.lol@schratze the concept of someone unironically seeing that as sexy is so alien to me
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@follpvosten I specifically remember a porn where a woman had a bluescreen on her macbook and the guy needed to fix it
It turned out to be a screenshot in fullscreen and the whole thing was just a ploy to get the guy to have sex with her
Honestly one of the better porn plots I've seen
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@schratze @follpvosten no fantasy for someone to write on how to fix your computer
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@xarvos @follpvosten nope, because you're not physically in the same space.
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That Frisian Girl-ish
thatfrisiangirlish@blahaj.zone@schratze Selling yourself short on the birdwatching at the very least, so much wordplay potential with the tits, boobies, and cocks.
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@thatfrisiangirlish but that's just silly and not erotic
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@thatfrisiangirlish love to get out my binoculars and take a walk around the neighborhood, looking for tits
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Cunt Beanface 🧄
bean@twoot.site@schratze @follpvosten it's usually a variant of the "plumber fixing your pipe" plot.
except the IT person is crawling under the table so they're already in perfect position.
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Cunt Beanface 🧄
bean@twoot.site@schratze @follpvosten I'm trying to imagine what tech writer porn would look like and the best I can come up with is asking them over to explain something hands-on.
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@bean @follpvosten I just had an idea for a remote dom sending their sub elaborate and very precise technical instructions for what to do
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@bean @follpvosten or maybe a person with certain needs and boundaries in the bedroom getting together with a tech writer to thoroughly document how to handle that person
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@bean @follpvosten hey I'm good at this. If only there was money to be made writing erotica.
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Charlotte 
/Cinny 
charlotte
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integration guidelines for penis in vagina
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schratze
schratze@todon.nlShow content
@charlotte @follpvosten @bean API docs for the human body
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Charlotte /Cinny
charlotte
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@schratze @follpvosten @bean errata sheet on the human body
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Cunt Beanface 🧄
bean@twoot.siteShow content
@schratze @charlotte @follpvosten Ass-Penis-Inyourface
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Cunt Beanface 🧄
bean@twoot.site@schratze @follpvosten if you think about it, jerking off is a kind of technology
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schratze
schratze@todon.nl@bean @follpvosten but nobody needs instructions for that
https://twoot.site/@nightjar/116284913889245669
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Violet (borrowing Helle's account for now) 
helle@tacobelllabs.net
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@charlotte @follpvosten @schratze @bean Ah yes, reminded of the award for IKEA sex. Insert tab A into slot B, etc
— Violet
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schratze
schratze@todon.nlShow content
@charlotte @follpvosten @helle @bean love spitroasting that wardrobe panel
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Charlotte /Cinny
charlotte
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@schratze @follpvosten @helle @bean probably better than masturbating onto it
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fungus (penicillin producer)
hypha@cafe.mycelium.locahlo.stShow content
@helle @charlotte @follpvosten @schratze @bean imagine the same but with a usb stick: try inserting, it doesn’t work, turn 180°, try again, it doesn’t work, turn 180°, try ag-
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SPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄
CAETFOOD@plush.city
@schratze @follpvosten time to put on the cat maid outfit before going to your job
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SPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄
CAETFOOD@plush.city
@schratze @follpvosten still a better love story than twilight
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@CAETFOOD @follpvosten this but unironically
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SPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄
CAETFOOD@plush.city
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Dom & Glom
Stoori@polyglot.city@schratze i mean, as a translator i often wondered what kind of sexual fantasies the technical writers may have had, because of their particular phrasings
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@Stoori On your partner's body, between the legs, near the top of the vulva, locate the clitoris.
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Dom & Glom
Stoori@polyglot.cityShow content
⚠️ WARNING !!
Be sure to depressurise the system before you pull out the hydraulic hose.
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@Stoori bad tech writing but good erotica
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archives squirrel 🗃️🐿️
cadadr@polyglot.city
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SPICY EVIL CAET🍬🍭🎄
CAETFOOD@plush.city
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archives squirrel 🗃️🐿️
cadadr@polyglot.cityShow content
@charlotte @Stoori @schratze stop whaccudling?
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